Baseball and Ballantine and who will be Miss Rheingold

Yep I knew a lot about beer growing up, my dad sold it. He would make the food really hot that he served so people would drink more and give them lots of salt to make them thirsty. The real money is in the beer he would say to me. I learned of beveled glasses as well, a shot of alcohol is not really a full shot with a beveled glass you are just paying for one. Yes my dad could be slick, he was also a pool shark, played a mean game, but suckered men by saying he was not really good at the game. And let me not get into my dad's ability to play cards and his willingness to do so into the early morning of the next day.

Yes I was like Shirley Temple this little blond haired girl with her curls and Mary Jane shoes with a pinafore dress, knowing way to much about beer and drunken men at a very young age. Learning about her daddy the pool hustler, (remember he would say, always one foot needs to be on the ground when you shoot the balls)... rack them up, don't hit the 8 ball clear the table, then go for the 8 ball...playing cards do not show your hand to anyone, nor let it show on your face the cards that you are holding... Never let anyone know in life the cards you are holding ... he taught me, do not brag about anything, you have a full deck, fold and leave the table... Yet that was not my father he always stayed for just one more hand in everything he did...

I also knew that most beer drinkers like Baseball and a clever beer company had a Sloan for this.. it being Baseball and Ballantine (the name of the beer)... not to be out done a rival beer company took another advertising angle, men loved baseball, but they also love a good looking woman so this beer company started the Miss Rheingold... Yes there in ever bar room of the day were photos of woman all vivaing for the Title Miss Rheingold... it was not always the best looking woman that won this title for as my father taught me, every woman is a beauty when a man has several beers and once the lights go down in the bar they are all stunning beautiful... so the men who did the voting were not always the best judge of beauty... but it was interesting, the "winner of the contest" had her picture displayed on all the beer trucks that sold Rheingold. They also had their faces plastered on buses and subways it was a big deal to be Miss Rheingold. I remember telling my day once I want to be one, and he said, NO YOU DON'T.... So from my dad I learned about pool, cards, some baseball, only about the big players like Micky Mantel and such... I also learned that after a few beers and when the lights are low many men fall in love... So to my grandsons I say, keep the lights on when you drink... and make no decision about any woman until day break, when you can see her in the sun with your eyes wide open... and your mind is clear... To my granddaughters I say, stay out of these creepy bars... or bet yet open your own... keep the lights on high and show yourselves to be the beauties you really are... Hey dad this is for you.... "My beer is Rheingold, the dry beer, think of Rheingold, whenever you buy beer... "I raise my glass" to all of those drunken cuties... hey, dad rack them up in heaven and invite Jesus to a game, I heard he likes to drink as well,mostly wine, he even likes to hang out with drunks and those cuties they fall for... geeze dad he is really your kind of guy....

The end of the world???

I was a young child in grade school happily playing in the school yard. There stood teachers speaking of something called the end of the world... They looked scared and spoke in the same fashion even as a young child I saw these things in them. The radio spoke of this being the war to end all wars if it started. Soon the "drills" at school started, when the sirens were heard we were to get out of our seats and go underneath our desks, or we were to go into the hallway and stand against the walls. Stay away from windows was the rule. We were given information to bring home to our parents about building bomb shelters, and what food should be kept in the house. So this is the "atomic age", what does this mean I thought. What is a bomb anyhow and why go under the desk... why were so many so afraid... This is called the Cuban missile crisis... It was the talk of everyone, everyone even the children in the school yard their parents told them about it... I thought, my mom and dad didn't say anything to me, I did hear them talking to "grown-ups" about this but not me... Yet at school I was taught to live in terror that the "end of the world" was near... What does that mean I thought... I did not understand, but I saw, I saw terror in teachers faces and in their voices, causing me to think that am not safe and I did not know why... Just who was going to end the world, what is a rocket with an atomic bomb on it. How can it find me and hurt me I am safe I live here I do not see these missiles, I know the neighborhood there are no missiles here... what is the problem??? Yet day after day we were drilled for a "bomb" coming our way and that would start the war and end the world... Finally I remember I was getting upset, I had a vivid dream I was standing in my parent's kitchen looking out the back door there I was a "missile flying through the air" of course I did not know what a missile looked like so in my mind the missile was a flying rocket man with a bomb in his hand... Deep fear was touchable around people then... newspapers, banner headlines... the end is near...the President on TV talking about this... Some old fat guy stood up in what was called the United Nations took his shoe off and banged it on the table, shouting in a language I did not understand... the TV man said, this man was shouting he will bury us and our children and grandchildren will live under Communists rule... What does that mean and who is this guy, I thought... I did not understand, I just felt the fear... and I believe on some level that fear never left me in regards to the end of the world, that is until I realized the world will end for each and everyone of us someday, with death... Now is the time to enjoy life as it is and not worry about such things as the end of the world... it will come soon enough for us all... and I do not believe that this will be the end of our life when this world ends for us, it just means we will be living in a different world, a better world... one where little children in the school yard are not taught to fear the end of the world. But they are taught to love each other and play together... For you see that is what grow-ups are suppose to do as well, they are suppose to love each other and play together and not fight over everything because they can as adults. No the other world where we will be someday does not have these bullies that insist that the world is made just for them, they will have learned how to share... I look forward to this world and I fear not the end of this one, you should not either.

sugar cubes and drugs

I actually forgot about this but a friend of mine who is several years older then me reminded me ... drugs on a sugar cube.... When I was born there was no inoculation for polio, it was a dreadful disease crippling thousands of people yearly. When I was a young child they developed a vaccine for this and it was given nation wide and in the beginning it was given free. Large vans would come into the area and give out "sugar cubes" with the vaccines on it... So you literally were given a small sugar cube and that was your polo vaccination. This was a time in history that many drugs, legal and illegal ones were placed on sugar cubes and taken.... the one that comes to mind is LSD, this was the common way back then for people to take this drug.... LSD is an illegal psychedelic drug made popular in California, Berkley University by a Dr. Timothy Leary... he actually tried to do scholarly research on this drug but got hooked on it and it eventually fried his brain and his research... The ones who created the drug though was the government and they were the first to use it on a human being in the field.. LSD had a nasty issue of giving people "trips" when taken to often, even after they stopped taking the drug Regards drugs I never took any illegal drugs throughout my life... I was approached many times, the one I remember the most I was in 7Th grade and someone asked if I wanted a "goof ball"... that was a term for a drug back then, but I did not know it was. When I heard the term goof ball I thought I have enough trouble learning why would I want to take something to make me more goofy... (so I was a slow learner and very naive as well). Regards drugs... corny but true.... just say no... your brain in gear is the best drug ever, fire up your own brain synapses the natural way..

Nixon, Kennedy and Marilyn Monroe

I was never really into politics, especially as a child in grade school. Yet the Presidential campaign of Richard Nixon and John F. Kennedy was a big deal to those living then. I not so much for I was small and do not remember detail, I think back on this and it is like I have flashes in my mind of certain things. One being when I was in school the candidates Nixon and Kennedy came to Paterson and all the schools had the day off... The candidates were in open top cars and drove down Main Street... I do not have a memory of this as much as I remember being told of this and that I was there.... This election was big because it was the first time there were televised debates, John Kennedy looked great on TV (he was a "pretty boy") always dressed well, good looking man, great sense of humor, fast wit... and Jackie was a stunning woman who photographed very well. Whereas Nixon came across on TV as a bum, and his wife as an angry woman.... Also that Kennedy was a Catholic and there had never been a Catholic as president before, many critics said he would allow the Pope to run the White House if he was elected... But these candidates came to Paterson drove by your great-grandpa's business, I am sure he would have liked them to stop in for a beer. As for Marilyn Monroe she was an actress of this time, a blond bombshell ... I never watched any of her movies nor did I see the "famous singing of Happy Birthday Mr. President" that she did for President Kennedy. But I do have a memory of seeing the front page of the newspaper when she was found dead and the stories of her on TV when that happened. Later it was alleged that she was involved with President Kennedy romantically, history showed this President to be very much a ladies man... I never knew of such things, of course I never really got over the Marconi incident...

Macaroni and it ain't pasta...

I was born with green eyes, literally, they change shades at times from bright green to blue... The worst shade they change into though is when they turn green "with envy"... yes they can turn really deep green with envy. One such time was when the new First Family entered the White House, in Washington, DC... this was a very young first family, having two very small children. This was the Kennedy family, President John Kennedy, his wife "Jackie", their two children Caroline, and John... referred to as "John-John" by the press. I was a young child myself and a spoiled one at that, but the one thing I really wanted was my own pony. Now I was taken to stables and allowed to ride ponies whenever I wanted to. But the real "ownership" of a pony was denied me, an act that did not sit well with me. I tried to compensate for this longing and loss I felt by having a large collection of play horses and many rocking horses... These on some level calmed the longing within me and the "annoyance" I felt against my parents for daring to deny me a pony!!! That is until Caroline Kennedy arrived on the scene... You see when she moved into the White House, she was allowed to bring many pets with her, there was Charlie the dog and others as well. This was okay with me for I had cats, dogs, fish, birds and my brothers having snakes and frogs. Things were fine until I saw on TV a horse trailer being unloaded at the White House and out came the "most beautiful pony" ever!!!! I fell in love instantly, there on that little TV in my living room was my dream, that was the pony I was suppose to have for it was already mine in my thoughts and dreams... This tiny little stead was a stuffed animal come alive, a fairy tale waiting for me, there it was... Then I learned this pony belonged to Caroline Kennedy, and its name was "Macaroni"; Macaroni was brought to live on the White House Property so Caroline could keep up her riding.... How unfair I thought, this cannot be, she has a pony at her home and I cannot have one... My parents paid for this with my whining and complaining... "I want a pony"... If this girl, (in my green eyes she was a brat) could have a pony at the White House, why not me... To add further pain to this injury of mine, the press showed that pony and Caroline endlessly... the pony even had a photo session with the President... To this day I am not a fan of Caroline Kennedy, I think it stems from the Macaroni incident... This pony incident was my first taste of life being unfair.... but I must say my dad felt really bad not giving me a pony as did my mom, they tried to reason with me... that they did not have the time to take care of a pony or the place to put it... Reason was not what I wanted to hear (not so much even now), I wanted a pony.... Why tell you this story of green eyed envy... first, it is not a nice thing to do... But the greater thing is... hold onto to those childhood dreams you may see them yet... I did not have a pony as a child, but I was able to give my two children their very own ponies, the first one on Christmas Day, a pony that they both shared. Then they were given their own ponies and Jozlyn had several, either owned or leased for her. So there is a God, not a fan of greened eyed with envy little children, but of little children that have dreams about ponies and things, he will answer such things if you believe and have faith... I ended up with, "5" ponies when your moms were small and even a newborn one... And now I see why my parents said no, they are a lot of work and take up much of your time and most of your money... Yet, I thank God for hearing this little girl's prayer for a pony... he could have sent one, yet he sent 5, and the ability to see the joy in the eyes of mine daughters as their blue and green eyes lit up upon seeing their very own pony for the first time... So Caroline, if I ever meet you my eyes will twinkle with delight and do not mind if I say... nana-nana... I "had" 5 ponies to your one... did I ever tell you grandchildren I can be a brat ??? When you are older though it is called being a bitch... (this phrase I am sure will be deleted by your moms, but they know that I am one, they lived with me)... To give testimony to my being a brat and having green eyes towards Caroline Kennedy... I still remember a song that was song about her when she came to the White House.... it went like this. "My Daddy is President" My daddy is president We make a happy pair learning my alphabet ABCD..JFK I don't play dollies I play the game of government Because my daddy is president... So you think I had issues in life... you bet... don't mess with my pony...

Always a "Little Lady"

I was always a "lady" as a small child, more so then now. I acted in a way, beyond my years with the please, the thank yous and the proper way to eat and dress. I was actually very condescending thinking back on others who did not display such traits, as if I were a Princess from a Royal Court that sat with the naves... I would try to correct their behavior and teach them proper ways... Yet I did not judge on a level other then, manners and style. I felt strange inside at times, thinking these are the poor, the unhappy, (okay this is going to sound weird), these are the ones that I have come to serve and must teach. Never really knowing how, but knowing then needed "manners", of sorts... I always was and am now very "girlie", I enjoy being a girl as the song title goes. I like pretty things, girlie things. And I so think like a girl, this causing me many problems with my males counter parts, I usually place them in a position of wanting them to think like me, a woman, then getting disappointed in them when do, telling them "be a man". Men in my life never had an easy time of it... But my grandsons they are a different story, they own me, in them I see sweetness and love that I never saw or I never allowed other males to have. So to my grandchildren be of good manners throughout your life make me proud. Be of good men and women as well. Remember as men you will never be able to think like a woman, so expect your hits from them in life. To my granddaughters go easier on men then I did, cut them a little more slack then your grandmother showed most of them. Yet as a woman do so in secret, let them think you are a mystery, even when you know your heart is an open book. I hope each and every one of you find one day your compliment, that some one that makes who you are complete. That one someone that was created just for you, to "fit" your space and no one else will do.

My own Santa Claus

Yes, there were times in my life that I could have been called the golden child. Your great-grandpa, owned a business, at the time I was young this was a very family oriented business. At Christmas my dad would hire Santa Claus to visit for a day. I was told that this Santa Claus came just for me, and he always had special gifts to give me. My doll collection was impressive, as were my music boxes. I would sit and watch the little figures dance and dance, mesmerized by them. I had two favorite, one being a "pink ballerina", the other a "couple" dancing together, he in a military looking suit and she in a ballgown. I was very much a prissy about my things, I do not remember ever breaking a toy or soiling one. I "guarded" them with care and "watched" over them. You could not play with my things unless you were given my permission, I had a share issue, as of today I still do!!! I have to say this was and is not a good trait to have, looking back upon my parents, they loved me to pieces, but they failed in some ways as all parents do. I was truly raised to expect, that I was here to be cherished and loved not just by them but by everyone.... Now that I just wrote that last statement, what a beautiful one it is, and in writing this I see my parents did not fail but held me up to a level of society that we do not have on this planet. It would be a beautiful planet, a wonderful world if everyone was "taught to be cherished and loved by everyone". My ability to love anything in life was due to my first being loved, as a child, my ability to treasure another in life, is due to my being treasured as a child, and my ability to want the best within my heart for others, due to being given this from the heart of my parents to me. The roots of love where planted deep by my parents in me, and it was and is these roots that have kept me standing during the many storms and trials that I have been through in life. Their raising me to be "special" allowed me to remain "special" within, when no other thought of me as being anything but useless. Yes, I was a golden child at times, many times though the gold was tarnished by time and abuse. Unrecognizable as being a precious gold anymore, it is at those times an unknown hand took over this piece of gold and shined it up ever so painfully. It takes a lot of rubbing and polishing to make something shine again... I do not know how it will turn out... maybe at the end I will be brought back to the little nugget of gold that my parents hoped for so many years ago and I will once again shine.

First memory of "real" history

I did not like school, so when anything happened to interrupt class I remembered, even when I was very small. In the grade school I attended they had a large auditorium for group activities within the school. The entire school could easily gather in this place for various programs. Now on this occasion I was very small sat with a group of older children. The entire school was called into the auditorium, now I do not remember clearly what I actually remember of this day first hand or if what I recall now was from history books. It was the flight of Alan Sheppard, he being the first American in Space. This was a very big thing for all of America. The country stopped during this time, all were fixed upon their TV screens, this was unheard of, a man being "shot" into space. What would happen, would he live??? So in this tiny school, Public School # 9, there I was very small, happy that class was out and pleased to be in the auditorium... I have no other memory of this, other then it was a very big deal and class was let out for it... And a TV was on and there were cheers and awes when the rocket went into the air.

Say it isn't snow!

I am at my computer on this day snowed in, at a small cabin in the woods, how I got here I do not know. This place is not where I was suppose to be at this stage of my life, indeed I would never have imagined being here at any stage. I reside in place of merger means and no real access to during storms, truly I am in isolation here. The up side this causes me to think, to write and capture thoughts of the past to leave with you, so they will live forever with you in place called your heart, for although I "reside" in a cabin, I write this blog from my heart to you my grandchildren. During your lives on earth there will be many places you will "reside" in, as I have had many. I was concerned in the past that these many changes of addresses would cause me not to have any roots... Until I learned that roots are not in a location or address they are within you. Your "house" can be anywhere, your "home" is wherever you are. It does not matter the condition or size of your, "house", it does matter the condition and the size of your, "home". Your home must always be big enough for just one more, no matter what is going on inside you, there is always someone who is being challenged harder in life and that is the just one more that you need to bring into your "home", open up your heart to that one and shelter them with your kindness, caring and love. So keep a light always burning in your, "home", your heart, and I promise, no matter where I am, be it in eternity or time I will see your lights shine and send you my love and you will feel this, inside, this "home" of yours. I tell you now for all the times I should have, or needed to do so more, or can not longer do, I will love you forever. When I leave this planet there will be no earthly goods or remains from me to bestow upon society. Yet there will be the greatest of all of these things in the persons of all of you. Each one of you is my legacy to the world, my prayer for it to change and become of peace and love. For that is the planet I wish for you all to inhabit and for all others upon it... An era of peace, long ago promised by someone much greater then us, that is where I hope you will be residing someday.

Going to school

Unlike how you were raised and how I sent your moms to nursery school and pre school, this was not done when I was growing up. For the most part if both parents worked, as mine did the other parent would babysit the children, or another family member would. Hence my first experiences with my peers was my first day at Kindergarten. I actually remember bits and pieces of this... I remember it as just being a place where you were babysat, no real learning went on there and you also took a nap. Kindergarten was only half day so it went by fast. I do remember having long blond hair that was put into braids a lot. By the time I was in first grade I learned, that learning was always going to be hard for me. I did not know why then, I just thought I was dumb as most children with any learning disability did at that time. As grades past and I got older this just became worse for me, for my foundation was not there and I fell further and further behind the learning scale until I gave up on myself and just put in the time. I did not learn phonics or reading skills at all hence I do not have any spelling skills and the use of correct grammar is not a talent I have. Math was a nightmare, I could not learn it in conventional ways and that just got worse. This all being second to my inability to learn a foreign language, that would make me cry I was so totally unable to do this yet had to take it in school. My exposure and experiences in academics was weak and sad to say the least. I often wondered what would I be if they picked up on this as they do now with children with such difficulties. I also have a tumor on my skull, I was born with it. My mom took me to the Doctor and he stated that it was a fatty tumor and it should not cause any problems in life unless it grew, then I would need surgery. It never grew but it is located in a area of the head that involves linear thinking, the capacity to learn.... One will never know the reasons in life why we are born, why we are given the graces in life we have, or the handicaps, they just are... but I do wonder at times... how would it have been different for me. At the risk of sounding like an egoist... I will never know my potential, my real IQ for I can not even test for this properly due to my lack of learning skills and reading abilities.... I think at times who am I inside, what knowledge is there that never came out, it did not know how....

Television and movies when I was a child.

Televisions were not like they are today when I was small. No my first memory of a TV was of it being small, images in black and white, no color to the picture on the screen. Then one genius? Or a man with a really good gimmick invented the plastic sheet that you would place over your TV screen and it would make the images appear in color... nice thought but it did not work.. But this little black and white TV created in me an everlasting love of old black and white movies. Especially the ones that were favorites growing up... such as the Thin Man series, Charlie Chan movies and Mr.Motto. Of course there was Abbott and Costello as well. I do have a faint memory of the Howdy Dowdy show. Vivid memories of Roy Rodgers, Rin-Tin-Tin, (he was a dog),Lassie,(the dog that shaped my future for choosing canines) Fury (a horse), Flicker (another horse),and lots of different variety shows. I also remember Gary Grant movies, Jimmy Stewart movies... My brothers were into the cheesy monster movies that came out of Japan. As well as King Kong. Mighty Joe Young and other such horror movies, (the crawling eye and the "thing"). My dad liked to watch cowboy movies and war movies, I hated them both. I remember the Mickey Mouse Club, the Flintstones and the Bob Hope Christmas specials and the Jerry Lewis telethons. Also the Loretta Young show my mom thought she was so beautiful and I kind of remember Doris Day. There was the Red Skeleton Show and one I really liked for it was off the wall the Ernie Colfax show.. As I got older there was Star Trek, the man from UNCLE, I spy, Get Smart, the Monsters and the Addams Family. I very rarely as a child went to the movies in a theater... but we went to the drive-in movies at least twice a month weather permitting... I remember as a small child being placed in my PJ's and taken to the drive-in.... I also remember the bug spraying that went on each time. A large truck with a spray on the back would fog the entire area with these chemicals in every row!!! These are the same chemicals that were banned when I became a teenager as being highly toxic and deadly to people... maybe that is why I write so many blogs... sprayed to many times..:) My dad in his bar had a "state of the arts" TV for the time, it was a large screen projection TV. This was to draw men into the tavern to watch sporting events. My father took the TV out when the men started to watch to much TV and did not drink enough! He then placed a juke box, scuffle board table in the tavern. I loved the juke box, part of the deal my dad had with the man who leased the equipment, I was to receive on a weekly bases all the new 45's that were released. Hence I had some record collection as a kid. And of course I was given a portable record player, best of its time to listen to them on, in my playroom... I love music then and now. I wished I would have kept some of these records and especially the albums they are worth money, such ones like the original Beatles albums. Speaking of the Beatles I remember as a kid seeing them arrive on TV and then watching them on the Ed Sullivan show, I was not impressed. I was to young to remember Elvis Presley. I do remember the first Broadway show I was taken to it was Camelot, with Richard Burton, Juliet Andrews and Robert Goulet in the starring roles.

Little girl with big bows and matching shoes

I was a long awaited for little girl, my mom could not get pregnant after the birth of my second brother. My mother went to a doctor and with the help of hormone injections she became pregnant with me. With this my mother would always tell me that I was a pain in the butt (the injection site) even prior to birth.. When at last my mother became pregnant with her third child, her and my dad hoped for a girl and a guess dreams come true, for I was born, yet I am sure I was more of a nightmare for them especially during my teen years... My mother treated me as a very young child like a doll, dressing me up with the best of clothing with matching shoes, hats, coats and gloves. Ribbons in my "sausage curled hair" and dresses with big bows in the back. Enter in my first episodes of conflict with my mother, the bows on the back of my dresses. Although I could not see what these bows looked like behind me, I always insisted that my mother was not tying them correctly, causing me to cry, rant and rave that she did not do it right! So great was my frustration that I would go to the neighbor in the apartment below us and have her tie my bows. I would then come back into my home and smile at my mother and say, now the bow is good... My mother would tell me that the bow was actually crooked and twisted, probably it was since the woman doing the tying had 6 kids and could less about what a bow looked like, preferring to just make sure her kids had clothing on... This woman in the apartment below was named Nancy, she was one of my mom's best friends. Nancy had a large family and I adopted her as a second mom as a child. I would run away to Nancy's house ever so often, Every night I would go there and take a spoonful of cod liver oil with her children, only doing so because after you took this you got a cookie. The oil tasted gross, but I loved the cookie. Of course my mom said she would buy me a box of cookies and I did not have to take the cod liver oil. In typical fashion I said no to her and continued to do my own thing. I also remember as a pre-schooler I wore many bonnets, my mom liked hats. I remember I was bribed a lot to do things, never really wanting to do what I was told to do, so my mom would offer bribes to me. My dad did not bribe me he just gave me whatever I wanted. For the most part I was the tail that waged the dog with my parents. Yet my being spoiled paled to how my eldest brother was spoiled, he being the first born son. This brother, Tom had all his clothing custom made from scratch by a tailor, he had the skiing lessons, pilot's license lessons, parachuting for sport, all types of hunting equipment was even purchased a farm in Upstate New York to hunt on. He was given anything he wanted at anytime. I being a girl was given things but only those things appropriate for a girl, (it was a different time). My brother Joe was the one caught in between the first born son and the little princess, yet Joe did well for himself also he just had to work a little harder for it. I also remember the hoop slip, this was a slip or part of a fancy dress a young child would wear and through the hem of the garment a wire was threaded through. So when you wore the dress or slip it made the garment flare out like a bell. Of course when you sat down it also flew up like a bell. These things were not comfortable or flattering to say the least. For some reason I remember the outfit I wore on my first plane ride... back then going on a plane was a high class thing to do... so one got dressed up. I remember I had a sailor suit on, I also remember the plane hit a turbulent and the stewardess carrying my chocolate milk tripped and spilled it on me, I was ticked... I never liked getting dirty, never, I always needed to be clean or at least try to. Nor could you look at me as a child I would get very annoyed if you looked at me, as if I were royalty and you had no right to cast your eyes upon me. I would clearly voice my displeasure with anyone who "looked" at me or voice it to my parents that someone is looking at me and they need to stop. Hence my whole life I liked nice things and clothing, yet I do not need them if I have them it is good, if not it is okay. I actually of the attitude now, that it is not the clothing that makes the person but the person that makes the clothing. You need to be confident in yourself not in that, which you wear... still if I can get dressed to the nines, I will and get competitive with it as well... it is a girl thing, the little girl in me still lives she just does not come out and play as much as she did before...

Family history

So why do this, when my mom was pregnant with me, both my grandmothers died. I never met my grandmothers, never heard their voices or saw their smiles. Nor was I able to hear about their personal and family history all of this was lost to me. Now that I have four grandchildren and there are not guarantees in life that I will be able to speak to them in person about my history as they grow, I do so now. My name, Mary Jo is a combination of both my grandmothers names, they being Mary and Josephine...so my "handle" in life represents both motherhood and lost grandmas. My paternal grandma Josephine was a 100% Polish, born in Poland, her husband my grandfather, your great-great grandfather was also a 100% Polish born in Poland, his name was Joseph Chuprevich, although the spelling of the original name changed when he came through Ellis Island. My grandfather Chuprevich first came over from Poland and settled in Denver Colorado, he owned a very profitable tavern during the gold rush. He made a lot of money and returned to Poland. The second time he came to the US he settled in Pennsylvania. There he built a house with his brother Peter and purchased a large track of farm land, nearly 400 acres. Eventually the farm was split between the two brothers, each getting about 200 acres. My grandfather was basically for the rest of his life a farmer and he worked in the coal mines as well to make extra money for his large family, (7 children). Your great-grandpa, my father was born in Pennsylvania, first generation American. I will write at a later date a more detailed account of both of these great-great grandparents of yours. My maternal grandma was Mary, she as well was 100% Polish and she as well was born in Poland. Your great-great grandmother married a man born in Vienna, Austria. His name was William Fritz. Grandpa Fritz (Grampy to me) was a German solider and he spoke three languages, he was a carpenter, gardener, builder and owned a gas station. My mom and her family would have been considered middle class. There were four children in my mom's family. She had two brothers Richard, Raymond and one sister Jenni. My mom was the third born. There is a very colorful history in her family in regards to her mom. My grandmother fell in love with a German solider and had a child with him out of wedlock, my Aunt Jenni. When my grandpa married my grandma his family objected to the marriage since she was a "tainted" woman having had a child out of wedlock. My grandfather married my grandmother with a side arm, and he told his family if anyone stood up to embarrass his "wife" he would shoot them on the spot, nothing was said at the wedding by any one. My brother Tom was given this gun that my grandpa wore at his wedding. I actually think this is a very romantic story of a man very much in love with his future wife, willing to defend her by any means. They were very happily married until her death, she dying at age 54, in March 1951. My God Father was my Uncle Raymond, his nickname being Boobie, I was born on his birthday. My God Mother was my Aunt Jenni, she never had children so I was close to her. My Aunt Jenni was ahead of her time in many ways and a "prophet" in her own time predicting the price of gold to climb very high, predicting global changes due to weather changes. She also was very much into organic foods and life styles, telling everyone in the 1950' s and 1960's that there were chemicals in our foods that it would harm us. Aunt Jenni made her own medicines and would drive to PA to purchase organic food, she also grew her own vegetables. She also seemed to be connected spiritually to God. My Uncle Boobie was a big guy, really tall and massive body size, he looked like a wrestler. He was in the Korean War and he died very young at the age of 36, he left behind a wife and 6 small children. My Uncle spoiled me a great deal when I was a young child. My mom spoiled this brother of hers, he being the youngest. My dad would tell me stories how this Uncle really annoyed him at times..:-). My Uncle Boobie was spoiled by my mom and his dad. After my grandmother died, my grandfather remarried 6 months later. My mom never liked her step-mother, nor did her sister and two brothers like the step-mother. My mother always referred to her as "my father's wife". Yet she was the closest thing that I ever had to a real grandma and I liked her, we called her Babcia, (Polish for grandma)...Babcia was married twice before, I think they both died but I am not really sure, but she knew her way around men. Everything that my grandfather and Babcia owned was in her name and she very much ruled the roost. Babcia was very colorful! She always wore sunglasses and usually gold la may, always in a dress. Her bedroom had a fancy chaise lounge in it the kind one would expect to see Mae West laying in, (she being a famous actress of the past). Babcia had many bottles of perfume all in crystal atomizers with fancy tassels on them. Babcia had lots of jewelry as well, many fine pieces of amber from Poland and Russia. I really did like Babcia, every Sunday I would have dinner with her, she made the best ice tea, and stuffed cabbage. Babcia was very generous with me and offered to give me many of her crystal bottles and jewelry, I being young and not into those things at the time refused, now I wish I had taken them as a memory of her. Babcia was always on a "diet" and when you saw her she would stand up, and rub her stomach and say "me skinny no"... she spoke in broken English... Babcia had a way of pushing my mother's buttons and I picked up on this and would razz them both up when I could. My mother loved her father, but I never really felt close to my grandfather, he seemed distant to me, a cold German personality he manifested to me. My mom always spoiled me, I had the best of clothing and toys. My dad did the same, even though he worked very hard he would everyday after we ate dinner take me to the park. I would always get gifts from my dad. Music boxes and toys, always given money to go to the candy store next door and buy whatever I wanted. I spent every summer as a child on the family farm, there we had animals and I learned how to grow things in a garden, my mom canned many things for the winter. The woman on the farm next door, was the best cook ever! She made everything from scratch and it always tasted like a 5 star restaurant, I swear if you put a bowl of pits on her table she could somehow make it into a pie or cake. The farm was a working dairy farm there was always at least 40 cows to be milked, so I learned to milk cows as well... also learned how to avoid cow pies in the pastures. My young years were very simple and very family orientated. My family was very large and every holiday, wedding, birthday, etc... there was always lots of family there. My dad's family was very close knit, almost clannish. My mom's family was close as well. All holiday meals had over 20 people there. When I was young these gatherings were always at our home later at my Aunt Monica and Uncle Bill's home. My dad owned a bar that served food as well... this bar was not like the ones we have now, back when I was small. It was more like what they have in Ireland, it was a place for families. There was a "travel club" in the bar and we would go on outings, a bus or two was rented and many families would go to the Lake together, the zoo or to the beach, it was fun. I remember we went to Greenwood Lake and to Coney Island on a couple of the trips. I also remember at Coney Island I went on the merry go round 30 times... my dad actually threw up taking me on so often not me I loved it. Through this club at the bar we had many family friends as well. This bar of my father's was called the Montclair Tavern it was located in Paterson, NJ at the time this area was like a Norman Rockwell painting.. very family orientated. At Halloween the streets were so crowded with children and at Christmas it was all lit. There were fireman's parades down Main Street and street festivities. Everyone knew you and said hello to you by name. It was a different time to be alive a more open time with ones neighbors.

Okay now for some drama as told by my Aunt Monica in regards to her parents, my paternal grandparents, your great-great grandparents.

This story begins is the small village of Brazaski, in the City of Bieniskonski, Lithuania/Poland, (under the domination of the Russian Czar) where my grandfather, Josef Czuprewicz (original spelling of his name) was born on July 15, 1878. He had two younger brothers, Pawel, (Paul) and Francizek (Frank).

To seek their fortunes, Josef and Pawel migrated to the US. How they acquired monies for their passages is unknown, they went to Denver and purchased a saloon. It had all the attractions of time, dancing girls, booze and gambling... There was no paper money there only gold. The brothers did very well for themselves but they soon tired of the saloon and sold it and moved to New York City into a large community of Polish immigrants. There my grandfather met my grandmother Josefa Jadeska.

Josefa's coming to the US paralleled the typical immigrant story. She was born on February 28, 1890 in the village of Variskes in the State of Suwalka, Poland (under Czarist rule)... My great-grandfather, Josef Jadeska, died at an early age leaving his widow and 6 children surviving. My great-grandmother later remarried and had 2 additional children. To provide a living for so many children was very difficult. Also, when the children were being taught to read and write in Polish by an educator (usually an old man), it had to be done in secret. If the Russians found out, they would burn the house down being used as a school.

Eventually, my grandmother's oldest sister, Caroline earned enough money for passage to the US. She found employment as a maid for a rich Jewish family in New York City. After working for some time, she saved enough money to bring her sister, Mary to the States. Together they worked and saved enough money to bring the next sister over, Anne, then they all worked and saved for the next sister to come she being my grandmother. They all worked as maids as they had no other skills.

Josef Czuprewicz and Josefa Jadeska were wed in the year 1907 in New York City and moved to Scranton, PA where Josef found work in a coal mine. Their first child, Pauline was born April 16, 1908.

My grandfather was a frugal person, Josef saved enough money to take his wife and daughter to his parents' home in Europe. He wanted to show off his family and his opulence. My grandmother told her daughters of a hat her husband brought for her to wear in Europe, it was beautiful with the biggest feather she ever saw. While they were in Europe their second child was born John, he being born July 4, 1909.

During my grandparents' stay at my paternal great-grandparents home, Josefa's younger sister Anastasia, came to visit them and my grandfather gave her money to come to the States. My grandparents returned to the States with their two children in 1910, they returned to New York City, they settled in Maspeth and for a while my grandfather worked as a gravedigger. Their third child Stella was born on November 18, 1912. The family moved backed to Scranton and my grandfather worked in the mines again. There their fourth child was born, Julia in 1915 and then a fifth child, Helen, was born on January 13, 1918.

During the year 1918, there was an influenza epidemic in Scranton. Josefa and her daughter, contracted this dreadful disease and Julia died from it. Josefa was so ill, she was not expected to live and had no awareness that her daughter died (had my grandmother died I would not being writing this now for my dad was not yet born).

Also my grandmother could not take care of her infant daughter my Aunt Helen. Fortunately my grandmother's sister had an infant as well and she took care of Aunt Helen along with her own child. After this time is when the two brothers purchased the family farm in Lake Ariel, PA.

My grandfather continued to work in the mines and only came home to the farm on weekends. However it was not long that the two families living together found that this could not be done forever so they split the farm and moved into two different houses.

ON December 18, 1919 my grandparents had their another son, my dad, Thomas and on May 1, 1922 they had another daughter my Aunt Monica. They were both born in the farmhouse that I spent my summers in.

As these were very desperate times (the depression), my grandmother made extra money by making"bootleg whiskey" in the woods... She would buy pure alcohol from a family in Scranton, dilute the alcohol to get the right proof and then "burn sugar". The burnt sugar gave it color and flavor. My grandmother would hide her bottles of bootleg in the stone wall... all her "buyers" came in the middle of the night and my grandmother was terrified to go in the dark to get her bootleg and would always bless herself for fear of the devil. My grandmother's "business" came to an end at the repeal of prohibition.

On June 27, 1927 another son was born my Uncle Peter, this time a doctor was present at the farmhouse for the birth, not so with the prior births.

As the children got older it became profitable to have a large dairy farm and my grandfather stopped working at the coal mines and became a full time farmer.

My grandmother died February 1951 after a gall bladder operation, my grandfather died March 1951 of pneumonia, which he contracted at the funeral of his wife, he also had silicosis (black lung) for the years he worked in a coal mine.

I am history, so are you

We all have history, our lives are books of history to be lived on a day to day bases. You are living documents of the now, and yesterday is your history, upon, which you will reflect one day and hopefully past on to those you love. You are history in process, you are unfolding events, which you will actively participate in; in one form or another. In these writings I wish to share with you my personal "history", that, which is unique to me and that, which many walked through with me.

Making history

Your great-grandfather, my dad would always tell me that history belongs to the winners in life, they are the ones who get to write the history books. I believe this to be true for the most part, yet there is an element of history, especially when it occurs in "your time" that allows you to write history yourself. It allows you to take a stand, to step up, voice your opposition or your compliance with a situation or event. Never remain part of the "silent majority", always do something, always try to make it better. Never lose heart, never give up, that is what makes a winner, their ability to hang in there, to have faith and belief that their one life can make a difference for all lives. Throughout history it has always been the individual who has had courage and conviction that has made history. The trick is passion, be passionate in all you do, yet always remember the word passion should never be separated from the word compassion. Keep the "fire in your belly", let your light shine, but never let the fire in your belly cause another indigestion, nor blow out any other's candle in a dim effort to make yourself shine brighter, you won't.

Get out there and make history... or at least try

What's up with the name Pumpernickel?

I was given the nickname Pumpernickel by my father, your great-grandfather, pumpernickel being his favorite bread. I was the youngest of three children and one could say that my mom and dad raised two sons and a princess (that would be me). My parents did their best to spoil all three of their children and shined in their ability to do so with me. Although I never considered myself "spoiled", I thinking all little girls were treated in the fashion I was, realizing only as an adult that my childhood was privileged in many ways. Although spoiled by parents life was not as kind as they were to me, struggling with undiagnosed learning disabilities, causing a large learning gap between the academic skills of my brothers and me. Causing me to always feel inferior to those with "knowledge" for I lacked academic skills. My struggles with learning through conventional ways are still a part of my life. I have "learned" through life that knowledge is not an achievement, wisdom is, yet we live in a world that measures a person by degrees, to place a pun on the word, the higher the degrees a person has, the hotter they are in life. My "temperature" in this department is minus zero degrees. Yet by some act of God I have survived and now I write to you... Do not define yourselves with "degrees" or achievements, seek that, which is higher, go deep inside yourselves and bring forth that, which is within. Always remember if what you seek... you find not within... you will never find it without... No external can bring you happiness or grant you peace, that is a personal decision that you hold within yourself. Let no one define you, for you are perfect within. Dream and be that which your heart calls you to be... always dare to be a "David"....always dare to take a stand...always dare to have a purpose in life... and always dare to make it known... And as I have told others if you are given the chance in life to dance do so, do not sit it out, get out on the floor and dance... The music is in you it is in everyone of us...