Going to school

Unlike how you were raised and how I sent your moms to nursery school and pre school, this was not done when I was growing up. For the most part if both parents worked, as mine did the other parent would babysit the children, or another family member would. Hence my first experiences with my peers was my first day at Kindergarten. I actually remember bits and pieces of this... I remember it as just being a place where you were babysat, no real learning went on there and you also took a nap. Kindergarten was only half day so it went by fast. I do remember having long blond hair that was put into braids a lot. By the time I was in first grade I learned, that learning was always going to be hard for me. I did not know why then, I just thought I was dumb as most children with any learning disability did at that time. As grades past and I got older this just became worse for me, for my foundation was not there and I fell further and further behind the learning scale until I gave up on myself and just put in the time. I did not learn phonics or reading skills at all hence I do not have any spelling skills and the use of correct grammar is not a talent I have. Math was a nightmare, I could not learn it in conventional ways and that just got worse. This all being second to my inability to learn a foreign language, that would make me cry I was so totally unable to do this yet had to take it in school. My exposure and experiences in academics was weak and sad to say the least. I often wondered what would I be if they picked up on this as they do now with children with such difficulties. I also have a tumor on my skull, I was born with it. My mom took me to the Doctor and he stated that it was a fatty tumor and it should not cause any problems in life unless it grew, then I would need surgery. It never grew but it is located in a area of the head that involves linear thinking, the capacity to learn.... One will never know the reasons in life why we are born, why we are given the graces in life we have, or the handicaps, they just are... but I do wonder at times... how would it have been different for me. At the risk of sounding like an egoist... I will never know my potential, my real IQ for I can not even test for this properly due to my lack of learning skills and reading abilities.... I think at times who am I inside, what knowledge is there that never came out, it did not know how....